STANDARDS OF RESPONSIBLE PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES
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PARENTING : TRAINING AND SUPPORT FOR PARENTS.
Someone said that parenting is the hardest most complex job on earth, I believe it! Let those who say it is easy raise their hands and the rest of the world need to be mentored by you.
I am sure that some have an easier time than does others, but the fact that regardless of the resources available to parents, because of the depth of love and responsibility that most parent face, it can be a very daunting task.I don't believe that parenting was meant for a single individual because of the demand that one child can place on a parent.
I guess that is the reason why it takes the DNA from two separate individuals to create one new individual. Then once this new individual emerges from the womb; or rather even before, it is very clear that this one is a unique one of a king being; First time on planet earth ! .
So, what does one do with this new creature? What does one know about this new child; rather small person? What can they tell us about their needs, likes, dislikes etc.? Does the new parent of this new child just " wing it" and hope that it all works out?
Well, there is much known about the needs of children and the requirements for relatively good parenting. Over time, with research and observation there has been several conclusions made concerning healthy parenting. While there are no guarantees because parents and children are very much complex and unique people carved out of a combination of DNAs, environments, cultures and unique personalities, it is very clear that there are several vital qualities that appears to predispose to healthy child rearing.
I will list a few of these as You will also be able to add many yourselves.
- Two Committed parents
- Love and Respect
- Adequate provision for the varied needs of the individual child
- Recognition of each child's uniqueness
- Physical and Emotional presence
- Dependability
- Attachment
- Safety,security and protection
- Adequate food, shelter and medical care
- Honesty and trust
And I could go on.....
But the question is;who sets the standards?
There are different standards for different households. While there are Minimum Standards for Foster Care, Adoptive Families and Child Care Centers there is very little in the way of standards for raising children in individual households. Now, most of us would say " wait a minute here, we don't want the government in our homes", and that may be true, but when a child is harmed through improper parenting, doesn't the entire community pay? You answer that one.
I think that we ought to tighten up a bit more. There is very little real training and preparation for any parent. Most is not aware of the expectations of the various developmental stages. How can we as a society enforce the requirements for driving a car and maintaining other licenses but have not seen the need to ensure that our children receive the care and nurturing that they need.
Families are the basic pillar of every community and there is no secret why our societies world wide appear to be crumbling. There appear to be no basic standards for parenting and for such a most important job, very little support for at risk parents and children in 2009.
Let us lobby to raise the standards for effective parenting.
vrbmft Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago
Wow! A dilemma. I'm trying to think of other areas of our lives where we actually invite the government to set standards, eg in restaurants, We want to see that A rating in the window! And getting that A rating isn't easy!! I'm trying to think who we would allow to set some standards for us. We have protective services to move in when things get out of hand, but you're right there is no outside agency providing us that day to day support. There are however agencies or resource agencies that are dedicated to services like parent training. I worked for one for quite a few years and they had a very solid parenting program. I also provide a lot of parent training in my private practice and have actually written a book entitled, "I Want To Raise My Children Differently." A few years ago, all the foster parents who attended a particular conference, sponsored by the local community college and the Department of Social Services, received a copy at no cost. But that is hardly enough. A young man in my town, Yucaipa, CA, was arrested just the other day for setting numerous fires over the last three ears. We will probably never know the details of his life, but it would be interesting to know what's behind all of that firesetting.
We are making strides in so many areas of our lives whre we insist that people are treated humanely. It's like democracy is gradually trickling down to all areas of our lives, but parenting and children is like a hold-out, and for whatever crazy reason, we are not ready to see our children as equal human beings, as precious just because and regardless of how they perform or achieve. I know some folks have moved in that direction, but not the majority!
Anywho, I'm up late or early or both. Good blog. Good food for thought or in my case good stuff to sleep on!